What do think when you read this?

I'm not sure if I understand your question. You ask, "What do you think when you read this?"; then, "I don't care what you think of it". But, since you ask: I think it looks a bit clumsy. For example: ".... and saw him standing there with his face unmasked ...." , followed by,"... wrinkled like how an undead mummy would look like if he was unmasked".